Poem #10

Time Out Time Up

I am going to be try to keep it together.
This time out has been what I needed.
I know I will be strong.
After all it wont be bad.  It will confirm things for me.
When I see you your eyes will melt me. 
When I look at you it will be cold.  Vivid.
I'm going to know that there is something else to look forward to with us.
Nothing will ever happen.
Nothing will ever happen.
I will smile, just to show everyone I'm fine.
No one will know that inside I'm tearing up.  No one will know that I'm hurt.
If they knew they would understand.
I have to move on.
I NEED to move on.
In a different time, a different place it might have worked.
I don't know if I'm trying to lie to myself to make it better, or because I truely believe it could happen.
I hate you.
I hate these feelings.
I don't want to see your face again.
At least that's what I tell people.
Secretly my heart races again.
That is what I hate the most.