That is pretty gay....

Ok.  So gay dating sites are pretty smutt ridden.  It's really rare to actually find someone who isn't just after a quick boink at theirs, at yours, or in a public restroom on the riverside.  This post is for the gay guys who write things on dating sites that I find comical.  This isn't pulling the piss out of gay men - as I am gay.  And it is not pulling the piss out of men who like sex - please fuck anyone you want, doesn't change my life.  Rather it is just by pulling these out from the dating web and putting them out from the smutt and onto this *cough* wholesome *cough* blog will make my night. 

IMAGE FROM "SLAP UPSIDE THE HEAD"

http://www.slapupsidethehead.com/

(Check the site out.)

Whilst I was trying to figure out if a guy was a top or a bottom (if he gives or takes, fyi to those straighties out there) coz I thought he was cute I got to this sentence.

A first date would ideally have some lingering stares, many laughs, and my skin burning where you accidentally touched me, ending with a taunting promise of many more...

Bottom.  Oh well.  A msg was sent just incase he was a top and just a tad bit poofy in his writing.

Then in comes a msg from a 26year old straight guy.  

hi would you like a massage? i live not to far away from you and i hope you would enjoy the massage from me.. let me know if your keen

Sometimes you need to be able to translate over used terms.  Example:

I am looking for Mr right, but will settle for Mr Right know!!!

Can be loosely translated into "I believe in love, but alas I am a slut"... then there are the ones that boarder onto erotic literature.

Dude, I love a good jerkoff. Whether rubbin out a fast one at the gym or a leisurely stroke-a-thon layin in bed. Just thinkin about past sex or smellin some hottie at the gym after he worked out, makes my boy jump to life. You know I gotta take care of it before too long. Pullin my shirt up over my head and slingin my boxers under my simmerin nuts, my plump boy waves drunkenly. I sniff my pit. Fuk yeah! My co...

 Um... yeah I will stop that one there coz it just gets more detailed.

At the end of the day laughing at most of these profiles is the reason I like being on dating sites.  It makes me smile reading these.  I doubt I will ever find someone worth while on them, date wise, but I stay on them...  who knows.... one day.... at least I get a laugh from them.

xx Action Wolfe

Oh.  I get him.  "Straight".  Wonder if that includes a happy ending or not.  No reply.