Monday, April 20, 2009

A letter to the ones that weren't

I have to write this - and I'm not quite sure why...

I got the sudden urge to when driving from Bunbury today and listening to Missy Higgins.

More for me to get all of it out of my head - instead of just pondering about it on my own.

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Dear #1,
You fucked me over. You made me less confident and uncomfortable with myself without even realizing it. You were the first one I was willing to feel for, to let lose for, to be here for. In one moment, you walked out of the room. In the same moment, lost me in the process. Every time I see you I feel the same things. Every time I see you I want it to work. But it wont. And I'm not saying that because I'm trying to protect myself. More because I'm realistic.
x Action
p.s. Fuck you. You fuck with your head - just the wrong one. Moving on.

Dear #2
You have hardly a clue. So I don't hold it against you at all. The problem I have with you is me. I read to much into things. I thought there was more than there was. I got the semiotics all wrong. Then again I think to myself over what has happened - and I debate whether it was or not. Which fucks me over more. I swear there were signs. One only ytouches and hugs another so many times before it's gay! Stop sitting on the fence.
x Action

Dear #3
Stop being hot. Stop catching my train. Stop me from imagining you as characters in my books, you are my Jacob Black. And that says something. You are a delusion to me. I catch you looking at me on the bust trips, in the ref, when we bump into each other at the shops. You are a constant reminder of someone who I consider perfect.
x Action

Dear #4
Stop writing me notes in class. Stop smiling and initiating jokes about the annoying guy that sits next to us. Stop the wry smile you do. STOP IT. IF ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN I DONT WANT YOU TO BE DOING THIS. If you want it to happen - make a move - I refuse to for so many reasons. Mainly because of what has happened with #1 and #3.

Dear #5
No offence - nothing else will happen. So if every time we meet you think we have a 'connection' don't. I look forward to awkward moments next time we see one another. Wait. I expect them.
x Action

Dear Uni
Fuck off and die - can't wait for this relationship to be over.
x Action

Dear Reader
Comment more - I'm lacking feedback.
x Action

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As you can see I'm in a pretty - lay it on the table type mood. Mainly because many things have happened that have made me think about everyone. FML at the end of the day - at least that's how I feel.
xx Action Wolfe

1 comment:

  1. You can tell a gay's blog when it's like

    "COMMENTZRESZEZ"

    Hilariously I only commented because you said that.

    ReplyDelete