The first blog after a drought...

You all know I use this as a way for me to sort out my mind...  It is pretty clear about that.  I haven't needed it to lean on lately.  Things haven't been great, that isn't the reason for the lack of commitment to this blog.  Rather I've been quick at sorting out my own issues because I don't want to be that Action Wolfe that is down on himself, sitting in the corner stewing over everything.

The reason I cam back to this blog was because I have just had a sudden realisation.

We all know I would like to fall in love.  If you don't know you haven't read this blog enough.  For the first time in my life I realised I could have been in it.  I could have fallen.  I could have had that connection, even for just a little while, even if it had to be taken to a long distance relationship, it could have happened.  But they were the reason I chose not to allow myself to get attached.

I sat here staring at his msn picture.  Then sudddenly felt like I was punched in the gut.  What could have been?  What did I just purposly miss out on?  Am I that much of a fool not to take a chance to hop on the train and see what destination it takes me?  That is me.  The fool sitting here on the station platform for a train which may never come.  It's too late now.  I can't hop on.  I've missed that window of oportunity.

I almost feel like I need to run away from my life at the moment.  I've been having the biggest urges just to pack up and move.  Not a move as in the one I'm making when I move back to Perth in a few weeks, rather the kind where I drop everything and start a new life.  I think after these six months I may genuinly consider moving states or countries.  There is a whole world out there, a whole world of stations, a whole world of trains to hop on.  I wan't to take a chance.  If I fall on my face from it, so what, at least I took that leap.

xx Action Wolfe