The reason I cam back to this blog was because I have just had a sudden realisation.
We all know I would like to fall in love. If you don't know you haven't read this blog enough. For the first time in my life I realised I could have been in it. I could have fallen. I could have had that connection, even for just a little while, even if it had to be taken to a long distance relationship, it could have happened. But they were the reason I chose not to allow myself to get attached.
I sat here staring at his msn picture. Then sudddenly felt like I was punched in the gut. What could have been? What did I just purposly miss out on? Am I that much of a fool not to take a chance to hop on the train and see what destination it takes me? That is me. The fool sitting here on the station platform for a train which may never come. It's too late now. I can't hop on. I've missed that window of oportunity.
I almost feel like I need to run away from my life at the moment. I've been having the biggest urges just to pack up and move. Not a move as in the one I'm making when I move back to Perth in a few weeks, rather the kind where I drop everything and start a new life. I think after these six months I may genuinly consider moving states or countries. There is a whole world out there, a whole world of stations, a whole world of trains to hop on. I wan't to take a chance. If I fall on my face from it, so what, at least I took that leap.
xx Action Wolfe
